South Africa is not alone in its crisis of male mental health. Around the world, traditional and toxic models of masculinity contribute to serious mental health challenges among men, often preventing these issues from being brought into the light. Male mental health is frequently underreported and misunderstood, but our country’s suicide statistics reveal a stark and chilling truth – South African men are four to five times more likely to die by suicide than women.
According to Jaco van Schalkwyk, Founder and CEO of The Character Company (TCC), a non-profit organisation working with fatherless boys, it is time to confront the realities of South Africa’s male mental health crisis. “Having recently observed Mental Health Awareness Month, we need to be clear that we need a breakthrough when it comes to male mental health in South Africa,” he says. “There’s a chronic lack of emotional well-being among the country’s boys and men. While our suicide stats say enough, this crisis is also evident in the high rates of crime and violence, of gender-based violence (GBV), and in the epidemic of substance abuse disorders across South African communities.”
Why is mental health a hidden struggle for SA men and boys?
Across the country’s diverse cultures, traditional notions of masculinity still dominate society. Jaco explains, “While South African girls and women have much more freedom to challenge traditional gender norms, boys and men are still largely trapped in ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘real men are tough’ thinking. We don’t give boys the opportunities they need to explore and express their emotions in healthy ways. We don’t expect them to develop kindness and empathy. Vulnerability in boys and men is not accepted, and we lack safe spaces for them to tackle and process normal human emotions like fear, grief, and sadness. As a result, we unintentionally reinforce the suppression of emotions in boys and men, and we fail to recognise the importance of addressing common mental health challenges like trauma, anxiety, and depression.”
The Trauma of Fatherlessness
South Africa has one of the highest rates of absent fathers in the world, leaving millions of boys growing up without a meaningful connection to their fathers or a positive male role model. This absence has a deep and lasting impact on a boy’s sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and the formation of his male identity. Fatherless boys are particularly vulnerable to a range of developmental, social, and behavioural problems, including low self-esteem, poor attachment, depression, social isolation, and even overcompensation through perfectionism and performance. Some boys may seek validation through toxic forms of masculinity, such as gangsterism, or become more vulnerable to social media influencers promoting male dominance.
Without a stable and supportive male presence, boys often struggle with emotional intelligence and forming healthy relationships. The absence of a father figure not only affects their personal development but also perpetuates cycles of dysfunction that can be passed down through generations.
Jaco concludes, “Through committed and intentional mentorship, TCC’s social fathers provide an alternative for fatherless boys, grounded in our five core values – respect, honesty, self-discipline, courage, and kindness. This framework helps boys grow into good men and serves as a roadmap for how we engage with each other in our mentorship groups. We provide safe spaces for boys to talk about their feelings, develop emotional intelligence, and nurture empathy. In my view, nothing is more critical to addressing South Africa’s mental health crisis than radically increasing the safe spaces where boys and men can confront their emotions, trauma, and vulnerabilities. This goal is directly linked to reducing GBV rates and addressing substance abuse disorders. It’s a challenge to families, schools, communities, and workplaces to create these safe spaces for boys and men, who deserve a fair chance to grapple with emotions that are simply human.”
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